so, I just re-read all my blogs. I have a lot of insight into myself, and I apparently regularly go into repeat mode. I am, once again, in the same difficult place I have been in before. It is all about a values conflict. I want to do good, I want to honour and respect and include people, I want us to get there (wherever "there" is) together.
And, once more, the pattern repeats. The ends justify the means. And, for me, they do not. We may even have the same goal, but (and - Scott I hear you) we are working at odds. Communication is so critical. Collaboration is powerful. but, and, I detest people working behinds the scenes, this time, it has become the "old boys club", except it's all women. The "back room". Someone I counted as a friend, is a master manipulator, indeed, as recently as a day or two ago, she continued to manipulate me. It's not a friendship I want anymore. I see now what the end goal was, honesty, fairness, transparency and accountability were not part of it, not at all. I feel used.
And so, like so many other times, I need to leave. I am stuck between confronting the issues, or just leaving. Probably, the latter is best. I could say my piece, and it will not make a damn bit of difference. Sometimes it is best to just leave.
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